How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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