I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
