if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
