He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
So vagazzling was a success
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
