i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
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I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
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Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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