I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
