she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
