I feel great
I just peed on a car
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Dick very happy bro
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
