Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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