He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
