Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
tequila makes me forget i have legs
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
