she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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