Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
