Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
