wanna go halves on a baby?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
