come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize