naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
