I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
