Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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