Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
