just come out here and I will go home with you...
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
