I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
