At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
