I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
