I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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