do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
