im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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