a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
