I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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