Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
