It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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