im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
