I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
