HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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