His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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