i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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