i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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