The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There r osticjed everywhere
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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