dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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