I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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