I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
