Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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