he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
