I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
