took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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