I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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