y did u give ur computer a hand job?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize