do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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