Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Randomize
