Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
