You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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