I can text with my tongue
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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