Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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