didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
