the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
