the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
