he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
