I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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