garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
