Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
