it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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