No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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