I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
