did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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