i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I supernannyed him into submission
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