dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
